Dear lord, I send this note to you, to tell you of my plight
for at the time of writing, I am not a pretty sight.
My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly grey
and I send this note to say, why I'm not at work today
Verse 2
Whilst working on the castle wall, some stones I had to clear
to throw them down from such a height, was not a good idea.
The overseer wasn't pleased, the bloody awkward sod
and he said I'd have to cart them down the ladders in my hod.
Verse 3
Now clearing all these stones by hand, it was so very slow
so I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below.
But in my haste to do the job, I was to blind to see
that a barrel full of building stones was heavier than me.
Verse 4
And so, when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead
and clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead!
I shot up like an eagle 'til to my dismay I found
that halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down!
Verse 5
The barrel broke my shoulder, as toward the ground it sped
and when I reached the top I banged the pulley with my head.
I hung on tightly, numb from shock from this almighty blow
and the barrel spilled out half the stones some thirty feet below.
Verse 6
Now when those stones had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more.
Still clinging tightly to the rope, my body racked with pain
when, halfway down, I met the bloody barrel coming once again.
Verse 7
The force of this collision, halfway up the castle block
caused multiple abrasions and a nasty state of shock.
Still clinging tightly to the rope I fell towards the ground
and I landed on the building stones the barrel scattered round.
Verse 8
I lay there groaning on the ground, I thought I'd passed the worse
but the barrel hit the pulley-wheel and then the bottom burst.
A shower of stones rained down on me, I hadn't got a hope
as I lay there bleeding on the ground. I let go the bloody rope!
Verse 9
The barrel was free to fall and down it came once more
and landed right across me, as I lay upon the floor.
It broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say
that I hope you understand why I'm not at work today!