I went out to take a friggin' walk by the friggin' pier
a-wishin' for a friggin' coin to buy a friggin' beer
my head it was a-achin' and my throat was parched and dry
and so I sent a little prayer a-wingin' to the sky
Verse 2
And there came a friggin' falcon and he walked upon the waves
and I said "A friggin miracle" and sang a couple staves
of a friggin churchy ballad I learned when I was young,
The friggin' bird took to the air and spattered me with dung
Verse 3
I fell upon my friggin knees and bowed my friggin head,
and said three friggin Aves for all my friggin dead
and then I got upon my feet and said another ten
the friggin' bird burst into flame - and spattered me again
Verse 4
The Burnin' bird hung in the sky just like a friggin sun
It seared my friggin eyelids shut and when the job was done
The bird fell from the sky and vanished in the sea so green,
I went to find the friggin' priest to tell him what I'd seen.
Verse 5
I told him of the miracle he told me of the Rose
I showed him bird crap in my hair the bastard held his nose
I went to see the bishop but the friggin bishop said,
go home and sleep it off, you sod, and wash yer friggin' head!
Verse 6
Then I came upon a friggin wake for a friggin' rotten swine,
by the name of Jack MacGregor and I touched his head with mine,
And old Jack sat up in his box and raised his friggin head
His wife took out a fryin' pan and beat the bastard dead
Verse 7
And I touched his head with mine, and brought him back to life
His smiling face rolled on the floor, this time she used a knife
and then she fell upon her knees and started in to pray
"It's forty years, O Lord" she said " I've waited for this day!"
Verse 8
So I walked the friggin' city 'mongst the friggin halt and lame
and every time I raised 'em up, they got knocked down again
'cause the love of God comes down to man in a friggin curious way
But when a man is marked for love, that love is here to stay
Verse 9
And this I know because I've got a friggin curious sign
for every time I wash my head the water turns to wine!
and I give it free to workin' lads to brighten up their lives,
so they don't kick no dogs around nor beat up on their wives
Verse 10
'Cause there ain't no use to miracles like walkin' on the sea,
They crucified the Son of God, but they don't muck with me!
'Cause I leave the friggin blind alone, the dyin' and the dead,
but every day at four o'clock I wash me friggin head!