God rest ye frantic autocrat,
let nothing you dismay,
Remember that the great event
is still a month a way,
Don't panic yet, there's lots of time,
and don't get swept away.
Chorus 1
And sing ye in chorus: "Never again, never again,"
And sing ye in chorus: "Ne'er again!"
Verse 2
God rest ye frantic autocrat,
let nothing you dismay,
Remember that the great event
is still a week away,
The music's fine if only they
remember how to play.
Verse 3
God rest ye frantic autocrat,
let nothing you dismay,
Remember that the great event
is still three days away.
The feast is planned, the food's been bought,
though God knows how you'll pay.
Verse 4
God rest ye frantic autocrat,
let nothing you dismay,
Remember that the great event
is scheduled for today.
The tourney's grand, the rain won't last
for very long, they say.
Verse 5
God rest ye frantic autocrat,
let nothing you dismay,
Despite the fact that everything
is going wrong today.
The King and Queen came unannounced
and God knows who else may.
Verse 6
God rest ye frantic autocrat,
let nothing you dismay,
The herald's lost his voice and
he can't even cry "Oyez."
The list field's under water;
a tornado's on the way.
Verse 7
God rest ye frantic autocrat,
let nothing you dismay,
The ants have eaten half your food
and dragged your tent away
Some mundane called the cops
and they took all the knights away.
Verse 8
God rest ye frantic autocrat,
let nothing you dismay,
It's getting cold, it just might snow.
You'd better start to pray.
The fire won't start, the food will spoil,
so serve it anyway
Verse 9
God rest ye frantic autocrat,
let nothing you dismay,
The feast was grand, though half the court
is dying of the plague
The revel would have been great
but the tavern blew away
Verse 10
God help ye, frantic autocrat
you'd better run away
The Queen is mad ñ her tent and King
have both been washed away.
It might be wise to change your name
and quit the SCA
Verse 11
God help ye, frantic autocrat
now hide ye while ye may
The gentry loved that damned
event that ended yesterday
They're asking for another one,
the King hopes you'll obey.
Chorus 2
And they're singing in chorus
"Do it again, do it again!"
And they're singing in chorus
"Do it again!"