Alas, my lady you've done me dirt
You`ve sewn green sleeves to my purple shirt
And then you've done me worse than that
You've made me go out and wear it
Chorus 1
Oh, Oh, what a dismal fate
To be seen at events in this terrible state
Oh, how I wish I could come late
Say, seven days/week/years after it's over
Verse 2
Alas, my lady I'm born to lose
You've sewn pink bows to my purple shoes
You've done my hair up in waves and curls
My mother thinks I'm a girl
Verse 3
Alas, my lady why did you think
My cloak would look nice in that shade of pink
You've decked me over in bobbins and lace
My costume's become a disgrace
Verse 4
Alas, my lady I've been bereaved
Someone's just slandered my beautiful sleeve
He's questioned my taste in every way
My God, he said, I must be gay
Verse 5
Alas, my lady you've done me wrong
You've made my tunic much too long
You've made it seven feet, ten inches, or more....
It drags across the floor!