Come and listen, I'll tell you what happened to me
One day as I went down to Cork by the sea
The day it was hot and the sun it was warm,
So says I a quiet pint wouldn't do me no harm
Verse 2
I went in and I called for a bottle of stout
Says the barman, I'm sorry, all the beer is sold out
Try whiskey or paddy, ten years in the wood
Says I, I'll try the cider, I've heard it was good.
Chorus 1
Oh never, Oh never, Oh never again
If I live to be a hundred or a hundred and ten
I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up
After drinking a quart of the Johnny Jump Up
Verse 3
After downing the third I went out to the yard
Where I bumped into Brody, the big civic guard
Come here to me boy, don't you know I'm the law?
Well, I up with me fist and I shattered his jaw
Verse 4
He fell to the ground with his knees doubled up
But it wasn't I hit him, 'twas Johnny Jump Up
The next thing I remember down in Cork by the sea
Was a cripple on crutches and says he to me
Verse 5
I'm afraid of me life I'll be hit by a car
Won't you help me across to the Celtic Know Bar?
After drinking a quart of that cider so sweet
He threw down his crutches and danced on his feet.
Chorus 1
Oh never, Oh never, Oh never again
If I live to be a hundred or a hundred and ten
I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up
After drinking a quart of the Johnny Jump Up
Verse 6
I went down the lee road, a friend for to see
They call it the madhouse in Cork by the Sea
Well when I got there, sure the truth I will tell,
They had this poor bugger locked up in a cell
Verse 7
Said the guard, testing him, say these words if you can
Around the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran
Tell him I'm not crazy, tell him I'm not mad
It was only a sip of the bottle I had
Chorus 1
Oh never, Oh never, Oh never again
If I live to be a hundred or a hundred and ten
I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up
After drinking a quart of the Johnny Jump Up
Verse 8
A man died in the mines by the name of McNabb
They washed him and laid him outside on the slab
Well after the parlors measurements did take
His wife brought him home to a bloody fine wake.
Verse 9
'Twas about 12 o'clock and the beer was high
The corpse sits up and says with a sigh
I can't get into heaven, they won't let me up
'Til I bring them a quart of the Johnny Jump Up
Chorus 1
Oh never, Oh never, Oh never again
If I live to be a hundred or a hundred and ten
I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up
After drinking a quart of the Johnny Jump Up
Verse 10
So if ever you go down to the Cork by the sea
Stay out of the ale house and take it from me
If you want to stay sane don't you dare take a sup
Of that devil drink cider called Johnny Jump Up